Direction is something my life has been lacking for the better part of the last decade. Every day is just so random and I never know what I will be doing until a few minutes before I do it. I have more free time on my hands than I know what to do with. I've become one of those creepy loners who sits in his apartment all day peeking out his window to see what his neighbors are up to. Okay that last line is only half true. I USED to be a loner. I still spend 90% of my time at home. However I don't peak out the window to see what my neighbors are doing...although the old lady that lives across from me does that. Ever since I lost my car earlier this year my life has been lived within a half mile radius of my apartment. I rarely go outside this small little area...just once a month to pay bills and buy groceries. Then it's back within the confinement of my apartment to lounge around all day, browsing the internet, watching t.v., taking a nap, or playing some mindless video game. To most people this may sound like Heaven but to me it's a living Hell.
Think of my life as being a 1000 piece puzzle. Right now the pieces of my life are scattered about and it's hard to see what the completed picture will look like. It's a pretty intimidating image...the pieces of my life just laying there in front of me...my past, present, and future. I've been staring at these pieces for years. Unsure where to start and how to fit them together to form a complete picture. But I don't want to just stare at these pieces anymore. I'm ready for my life to look like the picture on the outside of the box the pieces came in. Not the fuzzy polaroid picture it used to look like but the high definition, high resolution picture it looks like now.
Up until today I didn't know which direction I wanted to take. But last night I took a good hard look at myself and was scared by what I saw. That is when I decided it was time to sit down and start planning out my future rather than blindly walking down roads I had no business walking down. I don't want my life to be a puzzle anymore which is why I now read the signs before I start to walk down the path. I'm currently walking down Recovery Blvd which will eventually intersect with Stability Avenue. I will walk down Stability Avenue until I've reached Happiness Lane. Then I'll take Happiness Lane all the way to my final destination.....Heaven.
You make me want to start writing blogs again. I wrote a few this past year on tumbler, but I never revealed them to anyone, and no one could comment on them unless they had an account. I think.. How do you like blogspot?
ReplyDeleteI love blogspot so far. It's easy to navigate through the pages and I like the stats part where it shows how many readers you've had, at what time you had them, and where in the world they accessed my blog from. It even tells you which browsers were used and how they came across my blog....well which link they used to access it (like my link on Facebook). Blogging is helping me access some of the inner feelings inside me that I've hidden away for so long and gives me an outlet to express myself when I can't find anyone in real life to talk to. I love it and I might be addicted to it now haha.
ReplyDelete