Have you ever really felt like writing a blog entry but as soon as you log on to do it your mind goes blank? Or your mind starts racing with 50 different thoughts and you aren't sure which one you want to write about? That's where I'm at right now. And it's usually where I'm at every night around this time....well the racing thoughts part. I try to reach out with an invisible hand to grab just ONE thought I can focus on but as soon as that imaginary hand gets close to a thought it gets slapped away by another thought. This is the reason for my blog title "A Tireless Mind". My mind doesn't just have ADD...it has ADDDDDDDDDDDD (to quote a movie I for some reason can't remember the name of).
That is another thing that is happening to me a lot lately....I'm forgetting things I know I should remember. Names of people, movies, definitions of words, how to spell words that I could spell with ease when I was a kid. I have even forgotten about forgetting certain things as well. The answer to a question I forgot the answer to will pop into my mind a month later out of nowhere as if I had never forgotten it. I'd like to blame my age for all of this but I'm not even 30 yet (24 more days) so I can't use that as an excuse. I honestly think though that my mind has a mind of it's own and is making me forget on purpose because it's evil like that......that's what a crazy person would say anyways. But I'm not crazy...just a little lost and confused.
Don't worry about me though because I'm currently finding my way, so soon I will just be confused and not lost. I'm not even sure I should have made a new paragraph that is how much I've forgotten. Last night I would have been sure but for some reason not tonight. If you're now as lost as I am then welcome to my world. This blog entry has made no sense and yet it makes perfect sense at the same time. How is that even possible?
*sigh*
Forgive me for this post. I don't even know if it's worth posting but at the same time I don't want to feel like I've wasted the past however many minutes it took me to type this so I will undoubtedly click the "Publish Post" button pretty soon. Look at all of these run on sentences haha. My high school English/Grammar teacher would no doubt fail me if I turned in a paper like this. Thank goodness the grammar rules I was taught back then don't apply to blog entries hehe. At least I didn't misspell any words....unless I didn't spell the word "misspell" right then I guess this statement doesn't apply to me anymore.
Look at this! I manged to create one of the most confusing AND boring blog entries EVER by just typing down whatever was on my mind at the time. I should be banned from blogspot and forced to go back and take English/Grammar again. I know what you're thinking right now too. You're thinking "if this is what I have to look forward to reading every time you blog then I won't bother reading them anymore". But fear not my wonderful little readers (all 3 of you) for I promise never to publish another blog as confusing as the one I just managed to type. So keep on reading them because it makes me feel important when I know someone thinks my words are important enough to read or listen to.
If it counts for anything, I happen to rather enjoy your "stream of consciousness" style of writing. Its raw and its real. And too many people don't have the balls to put it down like you do, with little apprehension, or concern for who will actually see it. I saw leave the filter off and keep writing. It's good for you, and its own little way,good for me too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tay! It means a lot to me to know that I'm not completely boring my readers. And yes, I just lay everything out there for the world to see because I'm not ashamed of my feelings or thoughts. If something I write about helps others deal with their feelings then I've done my part. But I also blog because I get lucky and find people like you who are willing to help me analyze my feelings and see them from a different perspective that I might have missed if it weren't for you. So I will keep blogging and hopefully you'll keep reading and then one day you'll feel comfortable enough to let the world see who you really are and how you really feel about stuff. I'd subscribe to your blog in a heartbeat.
ReplyDeleteI read this first and I think you know that I would due to the title Racing Thoughts. We know each other well enough for you to know that our minds work the same and that I would understand completely. Thank you for sharing our same thoughts that I don't have the courage to share myself. You are awesome, Jason! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not as awesome as you and Tay though =)
ReplyDeleteThanks though, for reading and commenting....it means a lot to me